Child Protective Services

Dear Sirs and/or Madams,

I think you’ll find everything you need in the enclosed video. The perp (“Mama”), as we discussed, stole my prized possession (my drumstick), laughed, mocked me, and then laughed again. Later, she gave me a zerbert, although it was not captured on film.

Yours,

George “Duke” O’Rourke

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