Ask Hazy: Episode 7, “Hey, watch out for that shark, Fonz- I mean, Hazy!”

You know, even Arrested Development had some off episodes (Season 4, Episode 3, cough cough). And guest stars are always hard to coordinate. Fortunately, ours was the lovely and brilliant Charlotte S-S, who not only wrote her own name card, but had the grace to step off screen after asking her question.

True confession time: one, I was not a buddy and instead of sharing my many devious techniques of convincing my parents to let me do inappropriate things, like, say, eat cotton candy for breakfast, I hoo-ha blocked her and sing-sang “no movies” while holding a fake sushi knife. That was weird. Two, I lied. I don’t even like hamburgers. I guess I don’t like sharing the spotlight. Sorry, Charlotte S-S. Real answers after the video.

1) “How do I convince my parents to let me watch Austin Powers?”
How do you convince your parents to do anything? It’s kind of a long con, but step 1) get them sleep deprived. You know how to do it. 2) wait for a special occasion (Mother’s Day, Flag Day, your half-birthday, National Ice Cream Day), and 3) negotiate (Will you eat a piece of broccoli? Will you clean your room? Will you not put maple syrup in your hair for one fudging second? Remember, you don’t have to actually do any of these things, just say that you will.)
2) “Do you like hamburgers or pizza better?”
Pizza! By a mile. Like I said, I don’t even like hamburgers.

Do you have a question you’d like to submit to Ask Hazy? Put them in the comments section below and we may feature them on a future episode.

– Bert

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