Have you guys heard of mommyshorts.com?
You know, the inventor of Baby Mugging™? (It’s seriously trademarked now, just like Hot Pockets™ and Fig Newtons™.)
Who’s Apathy Girl? It’s me! Bert!
Mommyshorts made me into a super hero. Well, I made me into a superhero by wearing my princess cape and my candy corn costume and my fuggs and my Free Family Fun Day sunglasses, but mommyshorts gave me the cool superhero treatment. I have another superhero persona, Squid Cupcake, but apparently, Squid Cupcake does not have the super powers that Apathy Girl has.
Sometimes I wish I really was Apathy Girl because then I wouldn’t care so much about so many things, like which Band Aid we put on my boo boos (I’m going to give the Sponge Bob ones away to kids who don’t have any Band Aids), who put the toothpaste on my toothbrush (it should always be me, for the record), whether or not Duke said we were driving a truck (“We’re not driving a truck, Duke!”), the fact that we left Justin Steven Beyoncé at school over the weekend (sob), or getting my “Turtley Awesome” cup instead of my “Butterfly Awesome” one (Turtley Awesome really says that on it; Butterfly Awesome actually just has a butterfly on it, but it’s pink and therefore awesome).
But for now, I’ll just enjoy the celebrity. If you want to vote for Apathy Girl, just click like on my picture on Facebook (right here). But know that if you don’t, Apathy Girl doesn’t care.
Bert kind of does though.
UPDATE: I’m in the Top 12. No big deal. (Big deal!) Keep on voting, like you’re Frank the Tank with trucking.