Throwback Thursday: Halloween Edition

Here’s a little Halloween fashion retrospective for you.

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Here’s my first Halloween. I was a terrified ladybug. Wouldn’t you be if one of your best friends had suddenly turned into a dinosaur right next to you? (2009)

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Angry lobster no want Goldfish! (2010)

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Here’s my first Halloween. I was a sleepy hot dog. (2011)

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Here, I was dressed up as a cupcake and Beatz was dressed up as a dog without crippling anxiety. (2011)

This was last year, right before we DOMINATED trick or treating. (2012)

This was last year, right before we DOMINATED trick or treating. (2012)

Happy Halloween!

Boo!

– Bert & Duke

What I’ve Learned at Disney

Guys,

Bert and I are at Disney for the week with Mama and Dada. It’s pretty cool. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

  • Ariel is the best princess. I’ll share some photos of her later. Minnie Mouse, on the other hand, is a terrifying monster who should stay away! Stay away, mouse!
  • You can have apple juice every day here! Magical, indeed.
  • “All you can eat” is quite a lot. Then you can eat it again after it comes out of your mouth into your hand while Mama has her back turned. When she says, “where did you get that?”, don’t answer. She’ll take it away.
  • Don’t throw your fork off the balcony while you’re talking to the peoples. Or the tractor man. 
  • I’m totally fine not taking a nap. I…what? Give me that cheese! I don’t care if that’s butter! Give me the cheese butter! I don’t want this milk! Throw this milk! Throw fork! Mad! Crying! Tears! No! No NO NO! NO bread! Throw bread! Pasta? Okay. Pasta, okay. 

I’ll give a further report with photos when I get back. 

– Duke

Two, A Retrospective

Does this suit/diaper combo make my butt look big?

Does this suit/diaper combo make my butt look big?


Guys,

It’s my birthday today. (And my penis’ birthday, as I mentioned to Mama this morning.) I’m only 2, but I’ve done a ton of stuff in my two years. Here is just a sampling of them, not necessarily in chronological order:

  • dominated at least 5 bounce houses
  • said “I love you” to important people in my life (Mama, Dada, Hazybert, Beatzie Boo, Auntie Dita, Grammy, Oma, Opa, Cheryl, RyRy, Sean-O, Uncle Marco, Pooh Bear, Baby Arthur, Ralph the giraffe)
  • Ate 3 1/2 hot dogs in one sitting
  • Clapped in my sleep after Mama said she loved me
  • Danced
  • Rocked a tutu at Applebee’s
  • Played the bongos
  • Raced my second cousin
  • Charmed my great-grandmother, Nana
  • Ate an ink pad
  • Went to New York
  • Went to Canada
  • Discovered I like broccoli
  • Discovered I don’t like lemons
  • Got officially proclaimed a “genius” by my doctor
  • Gave myself the nickname “Gigi”
  • Fell in love with Abby, my music teacher
  • Refused to talk to Abby, my music teacher
  • Learned to say “excuse me” when prompted
  • Learned to say, “Gigi tooted” without being prompted
  • Changed my favorite book from “Kittens” to “Pigeons” (Good Night Moon)
  • Ate more apples (5) than I picked at apple picking
  • Had my own cooking show
  • Became Bert’s raison d’etre
  • Here’s a quick little run (the only way I travel) down Memory Lane. It’s been a good life so far.

    – Duke

Ask Hazy Episode 10: Astrophysics

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In which I answer a question from Nikolina S, future famous astrophysicist, “Should we try to detect or create dark matter?”. Well, we already know Duke’s answer, which is “no, thank you”, which he yells 300 times during this video.
Here are some things we were able to edit from this video:
– Mama attempting to answer “What side is each?” which is how I ask what the pros and cons of each are. Mama is about as much of an astrophysicist as I am. The only reason she passed Physics class in college is due to a kindly nerd named Ronald, and the closest thing she took to Astrophysics is a class in college nicknamed “Stars”, where she did the crossword. Sorry, Oma & Opa.
– Gross banana eating noises. You’re welcome.
– Duke yelling, “No, thank you!” a bajillion more times. Duke yelling, “Mama!!” because he’s not getting all the attention. I’m the one with a TV show, thank you very much, Duke.
– The break we took from discussing dark matter to put that rose in my hair. Cute, right?

Anyway, I think we can all learn something from this video. Like, hey, maybe clean your kitchen sometime, Mama & Dada.

– Bert

“That Way: Cooking with Duke”

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Guys, Hazelbert isn’t the only one with a TV show. Here’s the first (and let’s face it, probably only) episode of “That Way: Cooking With Duke”. Today, we’re cooking breakfast dishes. But wait ’til you see what comes out of the oven at the end! (Spoiler alert: I don’t know how spoiler alerts work.)
– Duke
p.s. Is it unappealing that the set has a giant trash can in the background?