The Pea: A Horror Story

I can’t really talk about it, but something terrible happened to me today. It was at my Thanksgiving Feast at school. Mama came, we sang the “The More We Get Together” song and recited the “Five Turkeys” poem and everything was cool. Then, we had the turkey feast. And that’s when it happened. Mama said I had to try a pea. One whole pea! You can image the horror that transpired. If you can’t, here’s a visual retelling:

The horror! The horror!

The horror! The horror!

I know. I know. I’m okay now, or I will be, after I wash the taste away with Halloween candy.

– Bert

The Deal With the Bibs

Everyone always says, “What’s the deal with the bibs?” and “Why is he always wearing a bib?”. I guess you’ve forgotten what it’s like to have a sea of saliva where it’s always high tide. That’s my reality people. If I don’t wear a bib, I’m in a wet t-shirt contest that I’m always winning. The good news is, I have an extensive collection of bibs, as pictured below.

Admit it, you totally need a bib after looking at these pics.

– Duke