How To Ride On A Plane

I love airplanes! When I see them in the sky, I get really excited and yell, “Airplane!”. So, you can imagine my excitement when Mama told me I was gonna get to fly in the sky in an airplane. Bert and I recently went to visit our Nana and Auntie Juju in CANADA (pictures to follow), which was awesome. Our flight to CANADA was about an hour and 20 minutes. Here’s what you’re supposed to do on the plane, or at least, here’s what I did:

• Wear your own (bumblebee) backpack and wheel your own (camo, monogrammed) suitcase like a boss.
• Sit next to the window and open the shade.
• Close the shade – loudly.
• Whine about the shade being closed.
• Yell, “I open it!” when your mama opens it for you.
• Open the shade.
• Close the shade.
• Repeat 8 times until Mama says, “no more opening and closing the shade! Pick one!”
• Open the shade.
• Insist on BUCKLING YOURSELF even though you can’t buckle yourself.
• Cry.
• See panicked look on Mama’s face.
• Cry-scream.
• Sink down into seat so seatbelt is around your neck, yelling, “I don’t want this!”
• Attempt to knock down Mama’s wine that Dada has ordered for her at 10 am.
• Cry-scream like you’ve never cry-screamed before. Yell, “I WANT TO GET UP!” and “DON’T WANT THIS SEAT BELT!”.
• Increase volume as Mama repositions you in seat and rebuckles seatbelt.
• When flight attendant walks by, unbuckle seat belt and slide off of seat.
• Cry-scream louder, drowning out your mama’s apologies to surrounding passengers.
• Pass out, exhausted from cry-screaming.
• Wake up as the pilot announces we’re beginning our initial departure and recommence cry-screaming.
• Sniffle and hiccup as everyone departs plane, and then announce the obvious, “I didn’t like that.”

It’s as easy as that! Let me know if you have any questions.
– Duke