You read that right. This was the last known picture taken of me when I was three:

I was so young then.

I wanted a Frozen Jakomas and his Neverland Pirate Railway Friends themed party with a bumblebee cake (naturally), but since Mama failed to find that specific Pinterest board, we went with a Minions theme for my party.

First, we played Pin The Party Hat on the Minion, which is about as cool as it sounds, except you have to admit the blindfold was pretty sweet.

Then we had Magic Mike come, but not that Magic Mike. This Mike was from Abrakidabra, and he was pretty hilarious. He did real magic, like swapping peanut butter and jelly jars and making coins come out of Evie’s ears, but also silly magic, like putting a diaper on my head and calling it a magic hat.

I got to be an assistant!

Nothing magic about this hat, except if you put it in the washing machine.
[DON’T DO THAT.]

I know what you’re thinking: kids laugh at everything. But come on, diaper on my head? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Diaper. On. My. Head. Still laughing.

That’s not all we did though.

We “became” Minions, and by that I mean we stuck our faces in this opening, not that we served anyone in any way.

My buddy Quentin and I blew these things at each other.

Eliot attacked Sean-O with this punch-it balloon.

Then we all attacked Sean-O with our bodies and ignored Mama yelling, “Don’t rip Sean-O’s shirt!”

We had bah-nah-nah splits. That’s how the minions say it.

Except for one kid whose ice cream got infected by banana-flavor.

And, you better believe I ate that cake. Even if it wasn’t a bumblebee.

Thanks for the “help”, “friends”, but I’m cool being the only one spitting all over my cake.

Believe it or not, that was just the day before my birthday. On my actual birthday, Hazelbert got up early to make me breakfast.

She made my favorite: Opa’s Eggies.

Grammy stayed over, just so she could give me a smooch. (Okay, and hang out.)

Dada did this. Yikes, Dada.

And I got my presents from Mama, Dada, and Hazy which included train tracks, a train book, a Jake doll, a Hazy original painting, and a smooch.

I’ll be filming my 4th Birthday interview as soon as the producers get their acts together. Let me know if there’s anything you want to know about 4-year old me, besides whether or not I’m still awesome. (I am.

-Duke

It’s been a while since we’ve done a fashion show. Here we are modeling our back to school clothes:

Our runway walks are totally self-taught, btw. America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 36, anyone?

-Bert & Duke

We’re meeting a new baby friend this weekend! His name’s Baby A and he’s less than one year old, so that’s like being zero years old. We picked out some of our favorite old baby books to give to him.

Duke’s favorite: Good Night Moon
I used to call this “Pigeons”; I never told anyone why. Mama asked why it was my favorite; I said, “I love when…I don’t know, I just love it.” Mama does not love it, and she cites the creepy old bunny lady as reason #1. – Duke

Bert’s favorite: Blue Hat, Green Hat
“Because it’s so silly” – Bert

Other commentary:
Yum Yum Dim Sum:
“Baby A might not like it when he’s a baby, but he might like it when he grows up.” – Bert

Quiet Loud:
“Will this book be too loud for Baby A?” – Mama
“Yes” – Duke
“Maybe his mom can do a whisper for quiet and her regular voice for loud.” – Bert

No No Yes Yes:
“What will Baby A learn from this book?” – Mama
“To draw on the walls.” – Bert (you’re welcome, Baby A’s parents)

The Going To Bed Book:
“This book is called The Going To Bed Book, do you think it will help Baby A sleep better?” – Mama
“Yes!” – Bert and Duke (Hope this makes up for the drawing on the walls.)

Welcome to the wonderful world of reading, Baby A!

– Bert & Duke

It seems like just a couple of weeks ago that I was a little 5-year old. Now, I’m 6. I know God is a wizard, pasta is delicious, and marriage is overrated, even if you really like staring at a boy named Julian every single day at recess. Every day, I tell Mama about how I stared at Julian. She asks if it’s a game, or if it bothers Julian, but she doesn’t understand, that that’s just a thing I do. I know that making the world a better place is as simple as making fake ladybugs and hanging them in the sky, that someone needs to teach little kids how to paint inside the lines and that someone is me, and that everything is awesome, including the song Everything Is Awesome.

Let me expound a bit:

To see how much I’ve grown, here’s last year’s video, the year before, and God how long have I been doing this, the year before that.

But you’re never too old for a bounce house party, and here are a few shots from mine.

God, imagine how much I’ll know when I’m 7!

– Bert

That’s why this Britney song upsets me so horribly.

– Duke

Guys,
I know you’ve waited for over a year for a new episode. So, we’ve rewarded you with a whole new season! So much has changed! Namely, I’m over a year older and also I announce the show title. If you have a question you’d like covered in season 2, please leave it in the comments section of this post. We don’t get a lot of comments and we’re starting to take it personally.

– Bert

Hey guys,
What if we were twins? What if, instead of being 2 1/2 years apart, we were exactly the same age? How awesome would that be?

Here’s a glimpse of what we looked like at the same ages.

Month 1: sleeping, crying, drooling

Month 2: even more sleeping, crying, drooling

Month 3: lots of smiling! even more drooling

Month 4: do babies do anything besides cry, sleep, and drool? Not these babies!

Month 5: Hey, that’s a cupcake?!

Month 6: Man, we were cute kids.

Month 7: Sitting still is for infants.

Month 8: You’re gonna have to be quicker than that if you don’t want us to get that cupcake.

Month 9: Cupcake/sign, we’ll eat it all.

Month 10: Think only newborns drool? Think again.

Month 11: Mama’s funny with her attempts at cupcake/sign preservation.

1 year olds: Well, that was easy, right, Mama & Dada?

2 year olds: Finally, we get some cake around here.

3 year olds: “Threenagers”? We don’t know what you’re talking about.

Here’s to many, many more.
– Bert & Duke

Dear Thomas & Friends Underwear Designers,

I love your underwear; I really do. But sometimes, say, once a week or so, they drive me to tears. The problem is quite simple. WHY IS THOMAS ON THE BACK? Do you get that I can’t see Thomas once I put on the undies? I. Can’t. See. Him. God, I hope I don’t start crying again right now. Anyway, my Mama helped me make this video. I hope you will reconsider your design. And please don’t give me some willy-nilly excuse about the bum of the undies having more fabric than the front. I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Please watch:

Good day,
– Duke

On Monday, school closed early. Then on Tuesday, we had a snow day! Then on Wednesday, we had ANOTHER SNOW DAY! Needless to say, it was awesome.

Here are a few things we did during the snow days:
• Watched Dada snow-blow, and shovel, and snow-blow some more.
• Watched Twisted Sister video, got upset about mean teacher guy
• Made things with Magnatiles, including an ambulance garage and a party house.
• Fought over Magnatiles.
• Told on each other re: Magnatile fights.
• Made stuff with Legos, including cars of the future: 1) car where you enter your arrival time in the cash register and it drives you there on time, and 2) car with a traffic light on the back that tells other people when they should stop or slow down.
• Played in the snow (duh), including: making Dada build us snow forts and snow thrones; attempting to walk in snow; sledding down the lame non-hill and the super big hill, which was awesome/terrifying, depending on whom you ask; taking 20 minutes to put on all our snow stuff and then deciding after 20 seconds outside that it’s too cold
• Played with train table.
• Helped Dada make grocery list and go shopping.
• Learned it’s spelled “cashews”, not kashoes.
• Watched Beatz go crazy in the snow.
• Picked up all the best snowballs, especially the big ones.
• Made Mama read The Day The Crayons Quit three times.
• Made sugar cookies and doused them in sugar frosting and sugar sprinkles with our friends, Lucas & Camille
• Sang “Mean”, “Roar”, and “Rock ‘n Roll All Night” on Singtrix auto-tune karaoke machine.
• Got in trouble for turning on karaoke disco ball by yourselves and then fighting about who did it.
• Played dress up
• Watched Tangled.
• Watched Tangled again.

What did you do??

– Bert & Duke