On Aging

Guys, I’m 10 now. I’m not gonna just sit here, in this gross microfiber glider and smile and clap like your little monkey. That’s 9-month old business.

Here’s what I am gonna do:
1) Check out this awesome brown blanket and not look at camera.
2) Assault this Pooh character who keeps looking at me like I owe him some donut.
4) Casually reach for donut and hope Mama’s too busy snapping photos to stop me.
5) Steady… steady…
6) Frosting! I understand now, Bert, I understand.
7) It feels so funny in your hands.
8) Slowly, slowly, so she doesn’t get antsy.
9) Look at camera. Throw her a bone.
10) Shove more frosting in mouth.
11) Leave mess in wake.
12) Leave Pooh in sorry, sorry shape. Tough break, sucker.

In other news:
• I have two teeth now (bottom front).
• I throw my arms up in the air on command (I’d be a model robbery victim).
• I eat everything now. Except Earth’s Best Organic Elmo Pasta.
• I worship Bert. Everything she does is funny, don’t you think?
• I like playing drums. Sometimes I carry my drumstick around with me everywhere, and if Mama tries to take it from me, I make my angriest sound.
• I say Dada more than Mama these days, which Mama doesn’t like.

– Duke