Ask Hazy Episode 10: Astrophysics

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In which I answer a question from Nikolina S, future famous astrophysicist, “Should we try to detect or create dark matter?”. Well, we already know Duke’s answer, which is “no, thank you”, which he yells 300 times during this video.
Here are some things we were able to edit from this video:
– Mama attempting to answer “What side is each?” which is how I ask what the pros and cons of each are. Mama is about as much of an astrophysicist as I am. The only reason she passed Physics class in college is due to a kindly nerd named Ronald, and the closest thing she took to Astrophysics is a class in college nicknamed “Stars”, where she did the crossword. Sorry, Oma & Opa.
– Gross banana eating noises. You’re welcome.
– Duke yelling, “No, thank you!” a bajillion more times. Duke yelling, “Mama!!” because he’s not getting all the attention. I’m the one with a TV show, thank you very much, Duke.
– The break we took from discussing dark matter to put that rose in my hair. Cute, right?

Anyway, I think we can all learn something from this video. Like, hey, maybe clean your kitchen sometime, Mama & Dada.

– Bert

A Very Special Episode (#4, if you’re keeping track) of Ask Hazy

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Marker Pants

Marker Pants

This will be even more special than when Punky Brewster said no to grass or when DJ went on that crash diet before Kimmy’s pool party. Why? Because it’s sponsored by my extremely awesome and one-in-a-two-million friend, Sienna. So, make sure you watch to the very end so you get all the specialness.

If you forgot to write down the name of Sienna’s Flower Garden page, here it is.

And, in case you were wondering:

Buckle My Shoe Dress (See? You have one already, Sienna.)

buckle my shoe dress (See? You have one already, Sienna.)


phone boots

phone boots


car socks

car socks (available in hearts or stars; you should wear hearts)

– Bert

Ask George

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Oh so Bert gets a show and I don’t? Not on my watch! Bert already gets to eat the gummi bear vitamins and hogs all the bath crayons and face forward in the car.

Here’s my show. Don’t call it a spinoff. I’m not the Joey to her Friends; I’m not the Lisa Bonet to her Keshia Knight-Pulliam. How do I know these references? Don’t worry about it.
Instead, watch “Ask George” and admit it’s just as good, if not better than “Ask Hazy”.

Ask Hazy: Episode 1 “Cereals”

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In which Hazy (aka, Bert) answers your most important questions, such as, “Which is a better cereal: Count Chocula or Cocoa Puffs?”.
Special thanks to Joseph Holloway for the show idea and submitting this great question. Special apologies to Joseph Holloway if producers got his question wrong because said producers were too lazy to look back in the Facebook archives.