The pandemic has aged me.

So much so, that I’m a decade old now. Remember when I was 3 and I wanted to be Hazy when I grew up? Haha, so young and naive. [Don’t tell anyone, but I still want to be Hazy when I grow up.] Here are the answers to all the burning questions I know you wanted to ask me:

I know what you’re saying: that’s it? That’s all the George we get? Have no fear, here are 25 other things you didn’t know about me:

  1. I’m a piano prodigy. I’ve taught myself to play the themes from Star Wars, Minecraft and Among Us.
  2. I don’t like being alone upstairs. I will go upstairs alone, but I don’t *like* it.
  3. I could spend all day bobbing in the ocean.
  4. I love dogs, especially my two.
  5. I want my own pet, preferably a monkey, a snake, or a bird. Mom says maybe I can get a fish.
  6. I scoff at the idea that there are 90 servings of parmesan cheese in a family-size container. There are 20 max.
  7. I’ve been known to polish off a bottle of “kid wine” (sparkling cider) in one sitting.
  8. I sleep 10-11 hours a night but still have a hard time waking up in the morning.
  9. I have (self) published several books, including, “Dada, The Super Farter” (a semi-biography) and “Terror in New York City” (in which I play a secret agent-in-training with a British accent).
  10. I wear athletic pants and a t-shirt pretty much every day in the cold weather months.
  11. I’m meh on pizza.
  12. My favorite vacation ever was going to this place called Grand Oasis in Tulum because it had all my favorite things: a pool, the ocean, and an all-you-can-eat buffet. They also had a swim-up bar in the kids’ pool where I ordered a “pina colada, no boobs.” I may have misheard something. Also, I was like 6 at the time.
  13. I leave my socks all over the place – on the dogs’ crates, on the coffee table, on the living room floor.
  14. I love board games, in theory.
  15. I get really, really mad when I lose at board games.
  16. I almost always forget something. There’s a sign on our front door that says, “George, wear a mask!” but I still often forget my mask.
  17. I’m so over Covid.
  18. I always order the same thing at Dudo’s (Dunkin): two bacon, egg & cheese wake up wraps and a sixer of munchkins.
  19. My favorite avenger is Tony Stark, hands down.
  20. I rarely make my bed.
  21. I would like to get my ears pierced.
  22. I ran my first ever race this year. It was a 5k, the longest I’ve ever run. I got a cramp at one point and had to walk a bit with my dad, but I finished (and I beat my sister).
  23. I love the poems of Shel Silverstein.
  24. I’m learning Italian on Duolingo.
  25. When I was around 5, I asked a beautiful woman on the subway, “Guess what?” When she replied, “What?” I said, “I love you.” I’m a charmer like that.

Still not enough George?

Here’s 4-year old me, who restated the question, “What is the meaning of life?” as “You mean, what is my favorite drink?”

And 5-year old me, who did a sweet rendition of “Shut Up and Dance.”

6-year old me told truly horrible jokes.

When I was 7, I debated the merits of Paul Blart Mall Cop vs Paul Blart Mall Cop II.

Titanic was “close enough” to my favorite movie when I was 8.

At age 9, kids were not yet off the table.

Here’s to double digits –

-Duke

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