Guess Who’s Six?

Guys, it’s been over a year since I turned 5, and you know what that means: cheese! (I celebrate everything with cheese; see the tablecloth for evidence.) Also, it means I just turned 6. And by “just,” I mean two and a half months ago because my ghost writer is slower than me putting on my shoes on a weekday morning.

Anyway, I’ve really matured as a young man, as you can see by this year’s interview:


Just kidding, I’m 6, guys. Here are a few things I feel pretty strongly about:

Pants. I know I’ve asked this before, but why do we have to wear them?

Star Wars. If the Imperial March isn’t the soundtrack to your life, then maybe you need to reexamine things. Think of how much more powerful you’d feel coloring, playing with Legos, jumping off the third stair, or (not) brushing your teeth with “Dun dun dun dun-ta dun, dun-ta DUN!” playing in the background. You’d probably be president by now instead of Dumbhead McPoopypants. Besides Star Wars’ music, I also like light sabers, my mini Darth Vader, Star Wars books (I can “read” Star Wars Rebels without even looking at the pages), and Star Wars themed foods, even though Mama insists they taste the same as their non-Star Wars themed equivalents.

Cheese. You know when the server at a restaurant is grating parmesan on your pasta and asks you to tell them when to stop? I STILL HAVEN’T TOLD THEM TO STOP.

Rosie. Rosie’s my dog and she’s the CUTEST. You have to say “CUTEST” in your highest voice because that’s how we talk about Rosie. She likes giving me kisses, right on the mouth. She also likes when I shriek, “ROSIEEEEEE!” and listening to the Imperial March, or at least, she hasn’t said otherwise.

Post Its. This is the #1 item on the Christmas wish list I sent to Santa. That and paper and tape. I like writing love letters (really short ones), drawing pictures (really small ones) and making books (really hard to read ones) on them.

Tablet Time. Tablet time is everything. I play Subway Surfer, Rolling Ball, and Candy Crush Saga. You know, educational games. Mama makes me read before I can have Tablet Time, so now I am pretty much Doogie Howser, only instead of being a doctor, I’ll be a Jedi, because all I read are Star Wars books. I have a Kindle but Hazy has a Leapfrog so she’s jealous, which is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.

– Duke (George)

p.s. It’s me. I’m six.

p.p.s. Here’s what I was like when I was a little 4-year old.

p.p.p.s. And look at this drooling baby 3-year old me.


Guys, I’m 11/12ths away from being 9.

That is to say, Mama took her sweet time editing my 8-year old interview. But nonetheless, I did indeed turn 8.

Lots of big changes this year [caution: spoilers] vs my 7-year old video:

  • Last year’s best friend (Mama) didn’t even make the top 4 this year. I’m pretty sure she took so long to edit this video out of protest.
  • Marriage is off the table.
  • Life went from a 5,000 on a 1-10 scale to a 2. Sorry, but times are tough when you’re a crab with a mic-hog for a brother.

Some things never change though. I’m still rocking out to Under The Sea (shoutout to my hot crustacean band!) and someone (cough, cough, Georgie) keeps trying to steal the spotlight, perhaps in retaliation for this video.

See what else is new in the full interview video:

If you want to reminisce (and believe me, you do), here’s what I was like when I was really little but thought I was big, when I had arguably better taste in music, or when I had decidedly worse taste in jokes.

Special thanks again to Mama’s friend Alyson, who had the idea to interview me every year on (around) my birthday.

25 Things You Didn’t Know about 5-year Old Me

  1. I like to wear things on my head (underwear, a colander, my Spiderman ski mask in 60-degree weather), but I prefer not to wear pants.
  2. I want to be a pilot or a chef when I grow up. If I become a chef, my restaurant will be called Mr. Bum Bum Head.


    You don’t want to know what’s on the menu at MBBH.

  3. I love fruit and can eat unlimited amounts of it. I once ate three peaches, a plum, and a quart of strawberries before 11 am. The only vegetable I really like is cucumber, which is… a fruit.
  4. I talk or sing to myself every night for about an hour before going to sleep. I hope someone’s enjoying my Bohemian Rhapsody on the baby monitor.
  5. People say I look just like my dad, but I don’t know.


    I’m the one in the back.

  6. I love my Mama and I tell her so all the time. Sometimes I also fall in love with other people, like the lady on the T platform whom I told, “Guess what? I love you.” I never did get her number.
  7. I can tell the difference between the orange line and the commuter rail by the sound they make.
  8. I LOVE BUBBLES like you wouldn’t believe.


    Oh my god, BUBBLES!!!!!

  9. I also love school, after-school, mac & cheese, LEGOs, trains, gum, doggies, walkie talkies, baths, trampolines, bounce houses, ice cream, and cleaning toilets. I would clean the toilets every day if Mama would let me.
  10. I worship my big sister.


    I mean, how cool is she?

  11. I don’t like pizza, but I love cheese, especially shredder cheddar. On average, cheese is a part of at least two meals a day for me.
  12. I’ll always tell you the truth. Just the other day, I told mama and her friends that they didn’t look very good.
  13. I can hula hoop like a boss.
  14. I can ride my scooter for 1-2 blocks before crying about how I hate my scooter and scootering.
  15. I’m up for anything. If you tell me to pull a snowy branch over my head, I’ll pull that branch. If you tell me to try Opa’s “special ketchup”, I’ll try it. If you tell me to walk more than a quarter mile, I’ll whine until you break.
  16. I am the happiest guy you know.
  17. I’m also the messiest guy you know.


    There was a puddle.

  18.  My catchphrases include, “No, really…” (even if no one’s disputing what I said), “First of all…” (there’s never a second of all), and “I had a blast!”
  19. I’m a creature of habit. I like to read the same book every night (The Gingerbread Man Loose in the School), eat the same breakfast every day (yogurt with berries and a side of shredder cheddar), and listen to the same songs over and over (Shut Up and Dance, Can’t Stop the Feeling, Uptown Funk).


    On your birthday, you get two kinds of yogurt with berries!

  20. I can build a train station out of almost anything.
  21. I can’t blow my nose.
  22. I was named after my paternal grandfather (George) and my maternal great-grandfather (Tse Fu). I was Duke for a little while, but it didn’t stick. Hazy came up with Georgie Burgles and it did. I also go by G$, Gigi, Georgie and Jeege.
  23. I like having Bros’ Night with my dad.
  24. I have strange obsessions, like this cupcake-shaped kitchen timer that I got at Boomerang’s. Dada broke it (by accident), and I ask him all the time to find me a new one. Also, I don’t like it when you don’t put the cap back on things.


    If you find this, I’ll give you all my money ($5.75) for it.

  25. First of all, I had a blast today. No, really!

Special bonus fun facts are in my 5-year interview video below:

This is the third video in this series. You can compare my answers at age 4 and age 3.

– Duke

Happy Farter’s Day, Dada!

There are a lot of great fathers out there, but we’ve got a clear favorite: he’s the seven time winner of #1 Dad, the World’s Best Farter & Father, our very own…DADA!

We got the band back together (literally) for one last time, Dada, to perform our new hit single, Farter’s Day. Happy Farter’s, we mean, Father’s Day, Dada.


Hazelbert (Bert) & Georgie Burgles (Duke)

The Rumors Are True (I’m 7.)

I’m so old, I didn’t even have a bounce house party this year. I had a spy party, and my secret agent name was Chief Agent and Georgie’s was Agent Junior and we talked on walkie talkies and saved Princess BooBooButt’s royal jewels.

Here’s some other stuff that I do now that I’m 7:

  • I read chapter books, like Stink and the Incredible Super-Galactic Jawbreaker.
  • I play on a big kid soccer team with real games and everything, and I take it pretty seriously, unlike some people (cough, cough, Navy Blueberries).
  • I’m more sensible now. That’s why I want to be an accountant (thanks, Game of Life!) instead of a lion.
  • I chew gum, but very, very quietly because Mama has misophonia.
  • I’ve got a better toy than dada now.
  • I have a job and I make $7/week (I got a raise!).
  • I grumble about my job a lot, mostly the bathroom cleaning part and the table setting part.
  • My life may not be a consistent 10 out of 10 anymore, instead it ranges from -55 to 18,000-million.

For more, see my latest video: