Oh, Hello

It’s been a while. Quite a while. It’s me, Bert. I’ve been busy, guys. I know, I know, too busy to write on your own blog, Haze? Here’s what I’ve been up to since June 3, 2017 when you last heard from me (What? Enough with the judging.)

  • Spent another glorious summer at home with my Mom and Duke, aka George.
  • Lost a bunch of teeth. Including one that I pulled out myself so George wouldn’t be the only one who got a visit from the tooth fairy.

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    Helped this tooth “get lost,” if you know what I mean.

  • Got a bug bite that swelled up my whole face so much that my Dad couldn’t look at me without crying. He previously hadn’t cried since the Sox won the World Series in 2007 (and before that in 2004).
  • Got a dog/sister! Her name is Rosie and we are in love.

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    She annoys me way less than George does and that’s with her peeing on my rug sometimes.

  • Tackled third grade, and if you don’t remember third grade, the girls are a combination of Regina George, the pre-Torrance cheer captain from Bring It On, and the Heathers.

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    Fortunately, I didn’t have to murder anyone.

  • Went to my first concert (Katy Perry) and my second (Taylor Swift). I haven’t taken sides on their feud yet.
  • Discovered Elvis. Don’t think Dad will be able to get us tickets though.
  • Got super into Harry Potter.

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    Costumus awesomus, am I right?

  • Won a spelling bee, NBD.
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W-I-N-N-E-R

  • Threw myself into soccer. The JP Lynx could best be described as un-undefeated.
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But we did it in style.

  • Learned to snowboard with Duke.
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Or at least learned to look like snowboarders.

  • Marched in my first (anti gun violence) and second (anti family separation) protest march. 

    And a whole lot of other stuff, like advanced level math, writing two books (look out for the Lonely Book in bookstores in the toy pit), trying to put George in his place, and opening up several pop up restaurants and toy stores within Jamaica Plain (mostly specifically in my house).

 

So without further ado, and even though I’m practically 9 1/2, here’s my 6th (!) annual interview with mom:

 

I think you’ll see I’ve grown up quite a bit since I wanted to be a worm.

Remember to work on being happy and to end slavery (now) –

-Bert

 

 

 

Guys, I’m all grown up.

And to prove it, here is a video of me on my 3rd birthday (i.e. when I was a little kid) talking like a BABY:

And here is one of me on my 4th birthday, talking life and marriage and comedy like a big kid.

Fart!
– Bert

p.s. The idea of doing an annual interview came from Mama’s friend Alyson. On my 4th birthday, Mama couldn’t find the 3rd birthday video, which is why the questions aren’t the same. Or even similar. Producers have assured me that next year, we will be back on track with some consistent questioning.