Life as a 7-year old

Hello, my long lost friends. It’s me, George (formerly Duke). Last October (seriously, Mama?), I turned 7. And even though technically, I’m closer to 8 now (I mean, really, Mama), this post is about my 7-year old milestones.

Here are some exciting developments in my life:

  • I’ve lost a bunch more teeth. A couple the normal way, one via head butt (not self-inflicted, cough cough, Hazy), and one via basketball to the face. And guess what? The Tooth Fairy doesn’t give you extra for forced tooth losses. I mean, what the? Check yourself before you wrickety-wreck yourself, TF.
  • I’m over Star Wars. Titanic is the new Star Wars. The night I saw Titanic, I also lost a tooth, and it was the best night of my life. I have a Titanic model, Titanic tickets, a replica Titanic menu, and I’ve asked for Titanic Legos, but Mama claims they don’t make them, at least not for less than $2,000. Worth it.
  • Way back in October when I filmed my interview, I had a different favorite movie. Spoiler alert: it’s Paul Blart Mall Cop. I know what you’re thinking, Paul Blart Mall Cop II is arguably better. But what can I say? I’m a stickler for the original.
  • I now play soccer, baseball, and hockey. I think I’m pretty great at all of them. Dad says I need to practice, but I reminded him that Mama already said I’m good, so I’m good. Also, I beat Mama at H.O.R.S.E. more than half the time, and I’m pretty sure she’s actually trying.
  • I’ve also been working on my cooking.

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    If you liked Opa Eggs™, you’ll love Designer Impostors George Eggs.

  • I’ve been getting into dancing, mostly hip hop. I can floss, I can dab, I can do other moves you (my mom) don’t even know the names of. Did you know there are over a dozen instrumental versions of Justin Timberlake’s SexyBack? My Spotify does!
  • I’m really into reading. I’ve even been known to quote literature. And by literature, I mean Dog Man books.
  • Some things haven’t changed. I’m still very strongly Team Cheese, and I’m still pro-tablet and office supplies. 

Here’s a little taste of my 7-year old wisdom, including the meaning of life, a hilarious flag anecdote, and a glimpse of some of my favorite things.

Pretty mature, eh? Wonder what this little guy would think of me now.

Thanks for reading/watching!

-George (formerly Duke)

Oh, Hello

It’s been a while. Quite a while. It’s me, Bert. I’ve been busy, guys. I know, I know, too busy to write on your own blog, Haze? Here’s what I’ve been up to since June 3, 2017 when you last heard from me (What? Enough with the judging.)

  • Spent another glorious summer at home with my Mom and Duke, aka George.
  • Lost a bunch of teeth. Including one that I pulled out myself so George wouldn’t be the only one who got a visit from the tooth fairy.

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    Helped this tooth “get lost,” if you know what I mean.

  • Got a bug bite that swelled up my whole face so much that my Dad couldn’t look at me without crying. He previously hadn’t cried since the Sox won the World Series in 2007 (and before that in 2004).
  • Got a dog/sister! Her name is Rosie and we are in love.

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    She annoys me way less than George does and that’s with her peeing on my rug sometimes.

  • Tackled third grade, and if you don’t remember third grade, the girls are a combination of Regina George, the pre-Torrance cheer captain from Bring It On, and the Heathers.

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    Fortunately, I didn’t have to murder anyone.

  • Went to my first concert (Katy Perry) and my second (Taylor Swift). I haven’t taken sides on their feud yet.
  • Discovered Elvis. Don’t think Dad will be able to get us tickets though.
  • Got super into Harry Potter.

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    Costumus awesomus, am I right?

  • Won a spelling bee, NBD.
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W-I-N-N-E-R

  • Threw myself into soccer. The JP Lynx could best be described as un-undefeated.
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But we did it in style.

  • Learned to snowboard with Duke.
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Or at least learned to look like snowboarders.

  • Marched in my first (anti gun violence) and second (anti family separation) protest march. 

    And a whole lot of other stuff, like advanced level math, writing two books (look out for the Lonely Book in bookstores in the toy pit), trying to put George in his place, and opening up several pop up restaurants and toy stores within Jamaica Plain (mostly specifically in my house).

 

So without further ado, and even though I’m practically 9 1/2, here’s my 6th (!) annual interview with mom:

 

I think you’ll see I’ve grown up quite a bit since I wanted to be a worm.

Remember to work on being happy and to end slavery (now) –

-Bert

 

 

 

Guys, I’m all grown up.

And to prove it, here is a video of me on my 3rd birthday (i.e. when I was a little kid) talking like a BABY:

And here is one of me on my 4th birthday, talking life and marriage and comedy like a big kid.

Fart!
– Bert

p.s. The idea of doing an annual interview came from Mama’s friend Alyson. On my 4th birthday, Mama couldn’t find the 3rd birthday video, which is why the questions aren’t the same. Or even similar. Producers have assured me that next year, we will be back on track with some consistent questioning.